Navigating relationships: reason, season, lifetime?

Oct 10, 2023

You have probably heard the phrase “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” And that when you figure out which it is you know exactly what to do. When people come into your life for a reason or a season it is usually to meet a need that you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance & support, to aid you physically, emotionally & spiritually. They may feel like an angel sent from above, and who knows, maybe they are. They are there for a specific reason or length of time which is often to help you through a specific moment or problem. They may bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They may give you an unbelievable amount of joy. These relationships aren’t long lasting. And then, out of nowhere, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out & force you to take a stand.

For those of us with trauma in our backgrounds, these seemingly abrupt departures can be hard to take. If you have an insecure attachment style then it may be difficult for you to accept, process and understand the “why” behind the end of the relationship. Telling ourselves that they were just here for a specific intention might help. And it might not. If it doesn’t, be gentle with yourself as you navigate your relationships. I find that when I align my thoughts vertically (i.e. upward towards God) vs horizontally (i.e. on the “ego” level) then it is much easier to accept the end of these relationships. It helps me understand that perhaps God only meant for that person to be in my life for a specific reason and limited time. If you have focused your worth on other people liking or accepting you, then you are at their mercy – like a puppet on a string dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum. However, when you put more weight on your opinion of you and most importantly, God’s opinion of you, then what other people think about you won’t have much emotional clout.  However, if you have an inner critic beating you up every step of the way then that is an inside problem that needs to be addressed with in inner solution: self-compassion. Research shows that moving to self-compassion and guiding yourself with grace and mercy through this life will be far more profound that kicking yourself down the garden path.

In terms of the lifetime relationships, the only relationship that you will have for your entire life is the relationship with YOU. Your parents will pass away and you will remain here. Your children will come along after you have been on the planet for many years. Your siblings have either come or gone before or after you. Most of your best friends you have met along the way. And then there is God, Life force, Spirit, the Universe (insert the word that works best for you). That energy is with you from the start to the end as well. Everyone else is travelling through. Since you are with YOU the longest, it is imperative that you get that relationship right. Most people look outside themselves for someone to fix them, fill them up or patch the holes they feel within. The reality is this won’t work in the long run. No one completes you. You complete you. Let’s work on getting the relationship right with you first in order for the rest of your relationships to work in your life. If you feel ready to do the inner work, I would love to be your guide.

I am opening my Moving Beyond Coaching, the 10-week program to improve your mental health, naturally. ⁠

The truth is, you are meant to be happy. Your life matters. Your happiness matters. Moving Beyond Coaching is different because you’ll get MORE than just information. ⁠

This program is intended to transform you. And it does. ⁠

We will be opening registration Feb 15th and starting February 27th – if you are interested – hit reply and send us a message so we can be sure to send you the details