Everyone has stress in their life. The important thing is to bring awareness to what causes you to move into a sympathetic (ie stress) state and use tools (like the mindful 4R approach, journalling, exercise, etc) to help recenter yourself. A helpful practice is the Energy Givers/Robbers exercise - where you take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns.
There may be relationships, time commitments, people, work situations, eating patterns that go in one or both columns. You may love a job or commitment (column 1) but not the time commitment associated with it (2nd column). By doing this exercise, you can find out what the energy givers are as well as the drainers and can identify the top 5 in each column. In the “bad” column, identify why the top 5 entries are so tough and understand clearly what is going on to have a clear picture of things in life that are negatively affecting your health. See how these prevent you from living a healthy life. Choose the worst one from the “bad” column and make a commitment to eliminate this from your life. Work out and plan to do this. Once this item is eliminated, move onto the next and do the same exercise.
Looking at circled items from the “good” column, devise a way to do these things more frequently in your life, moving from a life with things that render you powerless to things that make you feel more in control, more empowered in life.
Recognise your “energy robbers”, which are things that make you feel drained. Many energy robbers will show up in the “bad” column. These can be bad foods, commitments, a strong scent, a memory, a room or even a person. As an example, an energy robber could be a friend or family member. If you talk to this friend everyday, try minimizing your exposure to this person by talking three times a week or even once a week. If this is someone you are very involved with, you could make a signal to that person to let he or she know you feel your energy draining. If it is someone you do not have an open communication with, (an energy draining sign), you must do what you can on your own and perhaps rethink this relationship.
If it is work or home conditions, the solution may take a bit of creativity. For instance, at work – only phoning back messages at two time intervals in the day instead of being constantly interrupted on the phone.
If you’re still stuck you can change the situation (eliminate the loud noise – telling people to be quiet), change yourself to the situation (wear earplugs with loud noise) or leave the situation (leave the area of the noise).
As a recovering people pleaser, I have also found learning how to set boundaries (and maintain them) to be a key step in managing my stress and energy levels. A great resource is "Setting Boundaries will set you Free" by Nancy Levin. If you are in need of guidance, there is a module on boundary setting in the Moving Beyond Program.
